You used to hold me in the palm of your hands.
I was so little, but you held my whole life when I was young.
I cried to no ends and blasted my infant lungs.
Yet, you once looked at me in compassion and unconditional fatherly love.
But life shed its time and the seasons soon changed.
I do not understand how we got where we are today.
The love between father and daughter is gone.
Love just forgotten and abandoned in the wrong.
I know you were once happy. You truly were.
Because innocence wrapped my world and my joy was surely pure.
You used to come home after a long tiring day.
And in your arms you’d catch me when I ran to you to say,
“Daddy’s home! I love you,” the simple words of mine.
Coming from a child still unscathed from time.
Yet the burden of life soon came to me, when I finally grew older.
You were no longer the dad who I could run to for a shoulder.
My childhood days gloom into flickering reality.
The focus from sheltered facade to heavy brutality.
Time soon crumbled in the sanded hour glass.
And the values that make a family faded to the past.
You are titled dad and husband of the home.
It’s understandable that you’d carry loads of your own.
But it’s hard to imagine how apathetic you are,
To me and my mother, your kindness does not stretch out far.
I’m not sure when the times have changed,
But through the years, there was a growing silent disarray.
Now we are strangers of no common ground.
Same surname and blood but it doesn’t prove as profound.
So when I have to face you, there’s nothing more to say.
It’s hard to say, “I love you,” or even look into your eyes.
It’s a challenge to just embrace you, or approach you because I’m scared.
This is not normal but life was never fair.
I know that you resent me now because I wasn’t what you hoped for.
But if time had stopped and I never grew, would you love me like you did before?
I am a human being. Unfortunately, not an object of your own.
I care to be who I want to be, not your built perfected clone.
I’m grown up now and I deserve to live the life I was destined to.
I can’t be held back by anyone, not even you.
You broke me to pieces and you shattered my dreams.
But I will stand up again and sew the shredded seams.
You gave everything a father could, except short of one thing.
You forgot how to love in your rigid parenting.
I hope I can learn from my hardships this way.
Whether it’d make me a better mom or person someday.
I hope I can take all the heartache in my life.
And by God’s grace turn it into love and forgiveness in the strife.

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